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Protest: Personal Responses (Symon's Story)

Symon's Story

I'm a twenty eight year old man living in the South East of England. For the past eleven years, I've suffered from mental health problems.

I first began to encounter difficulties when the pressure and workload associated with revising for exams caused me to have a severe nervous breakdown. In consequence, I became tense, anxious and frequently tearful. After enjoying a long and happy childhood, I suddenly found myself trapped within a very dark place, a psychological state of mind that drained the pleasure from all my thoughts and experiences.

Finding the situation increasingly difficult to handle, I decided to approach my GP for some professional help and advice. After a number of appointments, I was diagnosed with clinical depression and obsessive compulsive disorder (I actually suggested the OCD diagnosis myself).

My doctor's solution was to prescribe a fixed course of anti-depressant medication. Unfortunately, these drugs caused a range of severe side effects, most of which resulted in my becoming extremely unwell. Naturally, this did nothing to improve my psychological state of mind.

When my mental health problems showed no sign of abating, I was then referred to a consultant psychiatrist working for the NHS. At the first consultation, he presented me with an interesting selection of rather bland questions. These included;

'Do you believe you have special powers, flying for example?' For a moment, I considered the flaw behind this question. Since all fictional superheroes have a secret identity, they would therefore be unlikely to admit to their abilities by answering 'yes'. Brushing aside this philosophical speculation, and quite aware of my own rather mundane origins, I answered `no'.

A further question was; 'Have you ever seen God?' For another moment, I considered the philosophical quandary attached to this. Since no-one actually knows what a God looks like (or even if one exists) how would you know whether you'd laid eyes on him or her? However, realising that straight answers were required, I said something like; 'not that I've noticed'.

After a number of other questions that focussed on suicidal feelings, relationships etc, I was diagnosed with manic depression. This was most strange, since I've never experienced any kind of manic episode. The psychiatrist offered me a mixture of Lithium and anti psychotic medications. Unfortunately, whatever combination I tried was an unmitigated disaster, producing an ever expanding and increasingly florid procession of nasty side effects. I ended up feeling constantly dizzy, emotionless, unable to concentrate and intellectually stunted. Under these medications, I could no longer feel like myself. It was as if someone had come up to me and ripped out my soul. The whole period quickly turned into a difficult ordeal rather than a constructive treatment.

The situation was not helped by the behaviour of mental health staff I came into contact with. During my time within the mental health system, I have been insulted, physically threatened, patronised, laughed at, ignored and generally treated as subhuman – all by mental health workers who were employed to give support. Only a minority of psychiatric staff appeared to genuinely care about their 'clients'. When I decided to raise concerns about the prevailing atmosphere of irresponsible behaviour, I was told in no uncertain terms that I'd better keep my mouth shut.

Already at an emotionally vulnerable period in my life, this treatment pushed me into a further crisis. For six long months, the only thing that kept me from ending my life was guilt – guilt over how my parents would feel if I killed myself. I held on simply because I loved my mother and father, and I knew they loved me. I couldn't hurt them by committing suicide and depriving them of their only son.

All I ever wanted from the mental health system was some understanding. Surely it's reasonable to enter the psychiatric services in the hope that you'll find practical advice and a friendly, helpful staff, ready to assist on your road to recovery? However, in my own personal experience, this has rarely manifested itself as a reality.

Further on from this, my GP and psychiatrists at various stages fundamentally disagreed over the nature of my mental health condition. I've been diagnosed with a whole variety of 'complaints'; clinical depression, manic depression, OCD, social anxiety disorder and possible aspergers syndrome. Each consultant I have seen disagreed with the previous diagnosis and added on a new one.

Faced with a mental health system that offered me little practical help, I decided to reduce contact with the psychiatric services and embark on my own course of treatment. I've come off the medication and have begun to eat more healthily. I use cognitive therapy techniques to help control my anxiety and depression (the only useful thing the mental health system has ever taught me ). In addition, I have become active as a mental health campaigner, a role which has helped increase my confidence and general self belief. I now realise that I don't need a doctor telling me what's best. I know myself, and I'm aware of what helps me. And ever since I've lived out that philosophy, my quality of life has substantially improved.

But how does this relate to the government's proposed legislation?

I'm on the road to recovery because I was able to make a choice regarding my own treatment. In this, I am extremely fortunate. Sadly, many people caught up in the mental health system are not allowed this kind of choice. However, rather than trying to rectify this situation, the government intends to increase compulsion and restrict choice further by extending it's 'non compliance is not an option' philosophy. Under community treatment orders for example, many patients will be told what treatment they MUST receive, even outside of the hospital environment and regardless of their state of mind. I believe that compulsory medication is wrong under any circumstances, and have great concerns as to what effect this further compulsion could have on many of my friends, colleagues and also myself.

By proposing compulsory treatment orders, long term confinement and other restrictive policies, the government is acting to reduce the influence of patient opinion and rescind further the rights of people diagnosed with mental illness.

A great number of people have already been damaged by compulsive and depersonalising psychiatric services. How can this situation be improved by introducing legislation which seeks to weigh the law even further against people who have been diagnosed with mental health problems? Judged by any practical, moral or humanitarian standards, it simply does not make sense.

Symon Price. (Website; http://www.btinternet.com/~symon.price)

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