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OUTCRY
Conference Report: Lynn Harrison (Part 1) First, I have to say that I felt very honoured to be asked to speak here today as I hope that this has the potential to be a very powerful, historic and pivotal event in the further development of the user movement in this country. However, while initially the prospect of speaking was very exciting… as today’s date drew closer the reality of the seemingly overwhelming responsibility this appeared to entail started to precipitate something of a personal crisis. Angst set in. What was I going to say? Do I have anything useful to say to you? I am not a ‘so-called’ expert? People will ask me questions that I won’t be able to answer! Won’t I just be telling you things you already know? Perhaps most of what I say could best be described as bollocks! (Audience laughter) Coupled with that, this is an incredibly meaningful day for me personally as yesterday marked the second anniversary of my closest friend, Penny Crawley’s, suicide. A lifelong victim of many forms of abuse, assault and trauma, she like me, expressed her acute distress through self-harm and so the label of borderline personality disorder became part of her diagnosis. To anyone who might feel that my speaking about her is exploitative, I have to say that, despite her despair, Penny was well known in Coventry as a mental health activist and above all she cared passionately about helping others. I know she wanted me to tell her story, if it would help, and to this end she gave me the task of trying to get the book she wrote about her life published. Above all, I refuse to allow her to be forgotten, despite the efforts of those who should have cared who would rather she was. I guess that many of us feel the same way about too many wonderful and remarkable friends we have lost? But, perhaps the timing of this event is no coincidence as Penny’s story, of course, like many others, highlights extremely well the reasons why we are fighting the ‘daft’ Bill. Will compulsion save lives as Louis Appleby, the Government’s mental health tsar, asserted when some of us were granted the pleasure of an audience with him in May? Well, I think not. Penny had been detained under Section 3 of the Mental Health Act and the experiences she suffered in the name of care and treatment after this, probably caused her to end her life. The hospital she stayed in had a formidable reputation, which, having worked as an advocate there until this caused me to be admitted myself, I knew was justified. To say that she was dehumanised would be an understatement. Brutalised and abused would be more accurate, evidenced by the stories told to me by other patients who had witnessed her being dragged along the floor by ward staff. And what treatments did she receive? None, except coercion to take the drugs that had so often failed her previously. Was her safety protected? Certainly not in the hospital and, despite her being extremely suicidal, she ‘escaped’ many times calling me for help when compulsion to kill herself took over, although, in the end staff didn’t know or care whether she was on the ward or not. Ultimately, despite her continuing distress, having nowhere to live, no community key worker having been appointed and her psychiatrist mysteriously choosing not to attend ward rounds, discharge was mentioned. Mental health services seemed to have given up on her, she felt, and so she came to stay with me, still on a Section, and I tried to convince her that people loved her and that life was worth living. Sadly, she decided it wasn’t and killed herself in exactly the way she and I had told the professionals she had planned to. Did they lose any sleep over her death? I doubt it. Did I? Of course. Within a week I had been admitted and soon was on a Section myself and this felt punitive. Didn’t they realise that in doing this they only reinforced my efforts to punish myself? Was this appropriate care? Louis Appleby and others seem to think so despite the fact that many of us know that such stories are far from unique. Today brings back many painful memories of two years ago and last year where I spent the day being treated for an overdose in A&E. So, I am very thankful that, others responded to my plea for help, just in case I didn’t actually make it here today or came but felt too stressed to do this. I’m very grateful to Diane and Rachel for agreeing to support me and to speak alongside me and I feel it’s right that they should also be able to make their voices heard. NEXT:
Part One - The 'Daft' Mental Health Bill |
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